Grieving My Grandmother: A Personal Story & 5 Ways to Honor Your Healing
This one’s personal.
On January 27, 2024, I lost someone I loved so damn much, my Grandma, Mary Jarret. Born October 6, 1938, she was my go-to for girl talk, family tea, and full belly laughs that had us both in stitches. Her laugh? Unmatched. Her stories? Sacred. Her love? Unforgettable.
This was my first funeral of someone I was deeply connected to. And nothing prepared me for the emotions, the overwhelm, or the spiritual unraveling that came with it.
Losing Her Was Like Losing My Roots
I used to call her all the time, telling her everything about my dating life ( all the crazy stories), my career moves, and all the spicy updates. We’d laugh so hard, and I’d ask questions about her past, our family’s legacy, and her dreams. She stopped going out and was spending more and more time in bed. I tried to encourage her to travel again, go on a cruise, maybe visit me in Chicago, like she wanted. But it just… never happened.
I’d visit her in Providence, Rhode Island, and the last big moment we had as a family was her 80th birthday. I was living in Brooklyn at the time, and we had so much fun. That memory lives in gold.
The Funeral Was Just the Beginning
When she passed, I was living in Phoenix, Arizona. I jumped on a plane, expecting to attend the funeral, grieve in peace, and fly back home. What I didn’t expect was to walk into a whirlwind of grief, division, and chaos.
After the service, we gathered at her home and started going through her belongings to figure out what people wanted to keep. It felt strange. Sacred and wrong at the same time. My sister had organized everything with fairness in mind, but the vibe shifted quickly. The next day, things got heavy—fast. Arguments. Accusations. Emotional bombs.
And that’s when I made the choice to step back.
I Not Only Lost My Grandmother, I Lost My Family
The woman who held us all together was gone. And with her absence, we fractured.
I cried. A lot. Not just for her… but for the family that fell apart without her.
That’s when I went underground to heal in my own way. I gave myself permission to disconnect from the chaos and honor my grief without guilt. I leaned on the friends who understood this kind of pain. I allowed myself to cry out of nowhere. I had good days… and really hard ones.
And over time, it got lighter to carry. Not gone but lighter.
Now, I want to share what helped me through. If you're grieving someone you love, here are 5 ways to honor your healing and love yourself through the heartbreak.
5 Sacred Ways to Heal Through Grief
1. Let Yourself Feel It All, Without Judgment
Grief isn’t linear. You’ll cry when you least expect it. You’ll laugh and feel guilty. You’ll feel numb one minute and crash out the next.
Allow it all. Your emotions aren’t wrong; they’re wisdom in motion.
2. Set Boundaries With Chaos
If your family or environment becomes toxic during grief (and it often does), it’s okay to step away.
Protect your energy.
You are allowed to heal without attending every argument or proving your pain to anyone.
3. Create a Ritual in Their Honor
Light a candle. Cook their favorite meal. Wear something they loved.
Grief transforms when we remember them with presence, not just pain.
I often sit in quiet reflection and whisper, “Grandma, I miss your laugh.” And that moment becomes sacred.
4. Speak Your Story, Even if It Shakes
Talk to someone. Write it down. Share it when you’re ready.
Your story deserves space. Telling mine right now? It’s healing me in real time.
5. Lean on the Ones Who Show Up With Love
Sometimes, the people you expect to show up won’t. And the ones who do those are your soul’s circle.
Lean into the love that feels safe, soft, and grounded. Also, don't be mad at the ones you thought would show up.
Final Words: Grief Isn’t a Problem to Fix, It’s a Process to Honor
I miss my Grandma every day. I miss her voice, her laughter, her energy.
But now, I let the grief breathe next to the joy.
Because the love I had for her is the same love I now pour back into myself.
If you're grieving, you're not alone.
Your feelings are sacred.
Your healing is your own.
And your love doesn’t end where life does—it evolves, and it lives in you.
Take your time. Give yourself grace. And when you’re ready, celebrate them through the beauty of your becoming.
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With softness, strength, and sacred remembrance,
Nicole
Sacred Self-Healing Guide & Creator of Goddess Time